Snarks and Shenanigans
by gagaking
Summary: Non-canon omakes I have written about Shards and Shadows. These are generally crack, but sometimes I will put in a semi-serious chapter that could have been in the main story, but just didn't fit with what had already happened. Rated T just in case it ever gets darker. Not sure it will.
1. C1: Fighting The Wards

Snarks and Shenanigans, crack stories from the DOS/Worm Crossover

These are non-canon segments from my Worm/DOS crossover "Shards and Shadows".

I do not own the rights to Worm, Dreaming of Sunshine, the manga DOS is based on, Naruto, or Discworld. I also do not own the rights to Pokemon (for that one gag in the next chapter).

This has been betaed by the very helpful Wobulator. Thanks for your help!

edit 4/1/2016 (april fools day. Why didn't I wait till today to post this?!)

This is a NON-canon what if story. It imagines that Shikako just joined The Wards, they learned what her powers were, and they decided to start off with a training exercise by pitting her against each of the Wards in a powers vs similar powers gauntlet. The opening is a little rushed, but that's fine for an omake.

I have removed all breaking the 4th wall references (guess Wobulator was right… Bye Velocity section. I'll miss you.)

Note: THIS CHAPTER IS SEMI-SERIOUS.

 **This takes place in a HYPOTHETICAL AFTER Chapter 6 of Shards and Shadows:**

* * *

 **1) Fighting The Wards**

"So Hokage, seeing as you seem to have different versions of The Wards powers, I thought it would be a good idea for you to practice fighting each of us with only the power that matches." Aegis told me.

"Wait, so you have super strength, durability and flight. I'm fast and strong sure, but not that strong and can't fly. At least let me use knock out tags!"

"Fine, but only three max, no other weapons. Ready? GO!"

He charged me. He was fast, but Cricket had been faster. I moved just out of the way of his fist and attacked the inside of his elbow when he twisted his back and shoulder almost inhumanly fast and without care and hit me with his other arm in a helicopter swing punch. I only barely managed to block it in time with my other hand. If my arm wasn't strengthened with chakra it would have easily broken from that attack. As it was, it was just bruised.

I tried to grab his arm to twist it and pin him down when his leg came up to kick me and I had to jump back to dodge it. Aegis was apparently hyperflexible.

With a sickening crack, he straightened his body and charged again. This time I was better prepared though. I ducked low and punched while simultaneously removing the limiter on my arm like I already had with my leg. Not expecting the sudden acceleration I caught him off-guard and managed to push him with my punch so that he only scraped me with his punch. Not giving him a chance to retaliate I struck two more quick strikes before taking my knockout tag out of my sleeve.

I tried to pin him with it when his legs locked around my torso and he threw me backwards.

"That's one." He said.

"Fine." I said.

There had to be another way. If I didn't get him with my knockout tags, I wouldn't be able to win with Taijutsu alone.

This time when he charged, I simply put my knockout tag on my hand and blocked. This time my arm did break, but I held on with my other hand to keep the tag on long enough to take full effect. He kicked me with both feet breaking some ribs, but then he was out. I used my last knockout tag just to make sure.

"Winner, Hokage!" Clockblocker cheered from the sidelines. "Always nice to see our fearless leader get taken down a peg or two."

"Panacea time!" Vista called out.

"Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to help us with our training." I told her as she healed me.

"It's no problem. Thanks for inviting me and Glory Girl to watch. This looks like it's going to be fun!" She responded.

"I'm also glad you remembered to get an adult to proctor the fights and make sure it didn't go too far. It's important not to be too reckless. Also, like Panacea said, this looks like it's going to be lots of fun!" Ms. Militia said from off to the side.

"You bet it is!" Clockblocker called out with a giant grin on his face. "Gallant's next!"

"Ooh. I can't wait to see her kick Gallant's butt." Glory Girl said.

"Hey! I thought you were supposed to be on my side!" Gallant cried out.

"Pshh. You need to get beaten once in a while. Makes you humble." She replied completely unrepentantly.

"Don't worry Gallant, I'm cheering for you." Vista said. Why wasn't she cheering for me? Actually…

"Wait, what am I supposed to do against Gallant?" I asked confused.

"That's for you to figure out! Just remember, no super strength, shadow shifting, or any other crazy non-emotion techniques, or powers not already shown!"

"Then how am I supposed to fight?!"

"Well, if you can't figure it out, I guess that's good news for me. Get ready!" Gallant called out.

Gulp.

He started shooting barely visible balls of colored air at me. For a few minutes all I did was dodge.

"Come on Hokage, there's got to be more that you can do than that!" Clockblocker called.

I thought about it. I took one of his hits in order to get him in my shadow. He couldn't aim at me to hit me with another attack, but I couldn't keep this up for long.

I sent my killing intent through to him.

Strangely he just grinned, though it was troubled.

"Y-you think this will-l stop me? I'm an empath. Glory Girl's hit me with worse almost every week!"

Everyone stared at her.

"What? He deserved it." She defended herself.

That gave me an idea.

"Genjutsu! Rude Boyfriend!" I shouted.

"What are you… " Gallant said as he slowly paled. "NO… You wouldn't …"

"Gallant! How dare you speak to me like that! We're going to be having a **TALK** later!" Glory Girl shouted nearby.

"No... NOO…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Gallant cried.

"I give up! I'll do anything! Just please, Don't get her mad at me again! Please I'm begging you!"

"And the winner is…. Hokage!" Clockblocker cheered.

"That was foul play!" Gallant shouted at me.

"What can I say? It was mental manipulation with no physical action taken. I think it matched your power pretty well."

I walked up to Glory Girl. "Thanks for playing along." I whispered to her.

She leaned in and whispered conspiratorially "Anytime. I'm gonna milk this for all that it's worth."

I laughed a bit causing Gallant to scream "Stop it! You already won the match! Why are you doing this to me?!"

This caused me, Clockblocker, Aegis, Kid Win, Panacea and Glory Girl to all burst into laughter.

"Don't worry about it Gallant. You're still a highly respected part of the team." Vista tried to cheer him up.

He facepalmed. "Why me?"

"Well I guess Clockblocker's next?" I asked.

"No, wait what about Shadow Stalker?!" He stumbled.

"Go ahead and take your medicine like a big boy." Stalker responded.

"But… but… awww. Fine. What powers can you use against me anyway?" He asked.

"Hmm. Not sure. What powers do I have with time?" I thought for a bit.

"Oh! I know!" I pulled out one of my storage seals and took out Bakuda's bombs.

"I'm pretty sure one of these did something to stop time. That should work right?" I asked jokingly.

Clockblocker looked at me, then at the bombs, then at The Wards, then at the bombs, back to me, then at the bombs again.

"Nope. Not getting stuck in time forever. I fold. Good luck Kid Win."

"You can't just back out like that! What about striker powers? Touchblast vs time freeze? If she can blow you up before you freeze her she wins?" Kid Win tossed out desperately.

"Nope. Touch Blast is sealing, thus your problem. I got my gag in, I'm good. You're up."

"Aegis, come on! He can't do that can he?" Kid Win pleaded.

"Looks like he just did. Normally I'd be against this, but Hokage did kind of cross the line with that one."

Everyone just glared at me. "What? Come on, you can't just pin this on me!"

"I can't believe you gave him an excuse to back out." Vista shook her head at me.

"Wait! What about Shadow Stalker?" Kid Win pleaded.

"Don't you remember? Hokage already fought her." Vista said.

Clockblocker started falling over in laughter. "you mean that fight? Oh man that was great."

"Yeah. I even got it on tape." Vista proclaimed. *

"Seriously?" Clockblocker pulled himself upright. "We've gotta show everyone."

"What?! No!" Shadow Stalker furiously spat out.

Shadow Stalker shot an arrow at the phone, but Glory Girl moved in the way and blocked it. "C'mon Stalker, don't be such a spoil sport!" She said.

Two minute into the video Clockblocker started laughing and even Miss Militia was fighting to hold back tears of mirth.

"Aegis, you know this wasn't part of the tournament. This can't be accepted right?" Shadow Stalker pleaded with the leader of the Wards in a last ditch effort to save face.

"Well, honestly I'm not looking forward to a half hour of you and Shikako throwing weapons through each others shadow states, so I'm accepting it for now."

Gallant, Vista, and Clockblocker all cheered.

"You're all going to pay for this." Shadow Stalker grumbled.

"Yeah, Yeah, that's what they all say. Anyway, time for TINKER BATTLE!" Clockblocker narrated through his microphone.

"Where'd you get the mic and popcorn?" Vista asked.

"Oh, it was in the scroll with the bombs. I grabbed them on my way back."

"Cool." Vista said as she grabbed a handful of the popcorn and sat back to enjoy the show.

"You ready for this?" Kid Win said to me atop his hoverboard, his giant gun strapped on, with two smaller guns holstered and a fourth in his hand.

"Yeah, but first I want some clarification. What are the limitations?"

"No super strength or super speed, so that means resistance seals on max power. No knockout tags because you used them on me already, and no non-seal-related genjutsu. Also, nothing fatal. This is a friendly showdown and we want it to stay that way. Oh, also no master powers allowed. Touch blasts are ok, as long as they aren't fatal or damage any noncombatants."

"Got it."

"The goal is to disable your opponent and destroy their tech. Since Kid Win's tech was mostly built to aid us and give us more nonlethal weaponry, he has also been given some advice and tech from Armsmaster, though Kid Win had to be responsible for at least 50% of the tech and once again, they couldn't be lethal. You have more offensive tech and options, so I think that's fair."

"Fine." I said.

"Also, if the battle goes over six minutes, it will end there and we will decide the winner ourselves."

"Why is destroying my tech the goal here? Do you know how hard I worked on it?"

" Yes. You talk about it way too much. This is your punishment. Ready?"

"Fine." He heaved out a reluctant sigh.

"Ready set fight!" Clockblocker rushedly called out.

Instantly I was surrounded with small, Chihuahua sized drones that had been previously pressed into pancakes onto the floor.

I brought out my lightsaber.

"You have a lightsaber?!" Kid Win cried out.

Almost everyone staring had their jaw hanging out.

Not one to let a moment of opportunity pass, I charged the nearest and biggest drone and sliced it in two.

I went to slash two more before I saw that the first, still buzzing with electric chakra had been scavenged by two other drones for its weapons.

By now multiple drones were shooting at me, and, I realized, at the scrolls at my waist.

I pulled out some magnet scrolls and tossed them around. They started to pull the drones in towards them and make them go off balance, but the drones simply shot the scrolls setting them on fire and ending the effect.

Kid Win was also firing at me from his hover stand, and I could see the shots from his gun were much larger and more menacing. Unfortunately dodging his shots put me in the line of fire for the drone strikes.

This was turning into a difficult battle, and Kid Win hadn't even used his big guns yet. Literally. I had to regain control of the fight.

I released giant boulders from storage seals around me to buy myself some space, as I dug for and pulled a specific storage seal out.

The drones, instead of attacking the boulders, were content to simply wait out the clock. Or so I thought.

I was suddenly blasted from all sides with "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna-" Nope. Just nope.

I sealed up the boulder in front of me and charged Kid Win. He shot my decoy seal, and managed to burn another seal at my waist, but he missed my real weapon.

I opened up the seal, and a small swimming pool's worth of water burst out and flowed towards him and his hover stand.

He rose higher to avoid the flood, just where I wanted him. I sent an explosive tag kunai near him at the ceiling, triggering the large, dormant touch blast seal I had placed there while everyone had been distracted watching the Shadow Stalker fight on Vista's phone. Walking on walls could be surprisingly useful if applied correctly.

The blast knocked him closer and made him lose his balance. I rushed him and managed to cut part of his hover stand with my lightsaber. I was about to cut again when my arm was thrown off balance by a stronger one of the drone's shots. It had been from one of the ones that had scavenged the first drone. That really stung.

The hover stand started to wobble in the air when a few drones, still playing "never gonna give you up" jumped on the hover stand from nearby and … started repairing the damage with their own parts?

I wouldn't let that stop me. I placed my hand on his still damaged stand while avoiding the fire coming my way, and tried to place as big a touch blast as I could manage before I got thrown off.

Kid Win had regained his balance at this point, and pointed his giant super gun at me. I pushed off, using my weak air barrier seal to give me a little extra oomph as I managed to barely avoid the giant stream of energy that flowed out of the gun and tore a giant hole in the concrete floor.

"Are you trying to kill me?!" I screamed at him over the music.

"No! It's set to only stun if it comes across human flesh!" He shouted back as he tried to get another shot at me.

I was knocked aside by some more drone fire and he was just about to shoot again when my touch blast activated. It destroyed the underside of his stand and he went flying off it.

I rushed through the onslaught of light fire towards the remains of the stand, and was about to reach it. I was running out of chakra. Moving through the resistance seals and doing all these touch blasts was draining me fast.

"No you don't!" I heard him call out and I felt a much stronger blast hit me, knocking me over.

I pulled myself up and reached the stand, and placed it in a storage seal just before the seal was shot at by three separate drones and it started to burn.

"NOOOOOOO!" I heard him cry out as he limped towards me. "Not my hover stand!"

He approached me and shot me again, and again I fell down after being stunned for a second. "You're going to pay for that!" he proclaimed, as he leveled his gun at me.

"Any last words?" He asked. The music quieted.

"Yeah. I win." I smiled as I touched the upside down storage seal under his feet and it activated, absorbing all the space below him and sending him falling into the newly formed pit.

I grabbed the seal and looked down at him.

"I could always drop a boulder down there, but…"

"Yeah, fine, you win. Ow, that fall hurt." He complained. "And I can't believe you destroyed my hover stand! Do you know how long I spent building that thing?"

"You can always build another one." I tried to cheer him up.

"Yeah, yeah. I know, but still. Owww…" I pulled him back up and we went to Panacea.

"That was a great battle, but did you have to play that song so loud?" Panacea asked Kid Win as she healed us.

"I thought it would be funny." He said sulkily.

"So what happens now?" Vista asked, pointing to the damaged, flooded, hole filled room.

"Cleanup on aisle this room." Aegis called out.

"That was really close Kid Win. You almost had me back there." I told him.

"Thanks." He sighed. " For a minute there I almost thought I could win. Should have stayed back more."

"Velocity, can you come here and help clean up the mess before Vista's match?" Miss Militia spoke into her watch.

"Velocity's still on paid time off till tomorrow." Armsmaster's voice came through.

"Wait, we get days off?!" Assault's voice was heard coming from her watch as well.

"Armsmaster, is that Assault with you?" Miss Militia asked hesitantly.

The signal abruptly cut off.

Miss Militia just sighed. "Guess we'll have to wait till tomorrow before this is cleared up enough for Vista's match."

"I don't mind the water much, but seriously; How am I supposed to fight her? I can make her trip or exhaust herself trying to get to me, but without any backup or items, what am I supposed to do?" Vista asked perplexed.

"Now you know what it was like facing Gallant." I said.

"That doesn't really help tell me what I'm supposed to do now." She bit back.

"Well, I can sort of mimic your power given enough time, knowledge of the landscape, and a huge scroll for my seal, but it's more of a "huge preparation time" one shot thing, and not well suited for combat on it's own, or for a friendly spar like this."

"Well you better figure it out soon, because I'm announcing the start of the fight now! Ladies and gentle Wards, here it is, the fight you've all been waiting for! Barely old enough to be called teens, these gals still managed to work their way to the final round! You've seen her fight the rest, now watch her fight the Young-best! Here it is! The ultimate showdown! The girl with a thousand talents versus the master of space itself! HOKAGE VERSUS VISTAAAAAAA!" Clockblocker roared.

"Seriously, Clock, stop fooling around! How am I supposed to fight her?"

"Hmm." Aegis thought out loud. "Hey Hokage, you're a master right? Got anything that can maneuver through warped space?"

"Yes," I said hesitantly.

"Great! Then you summon four of your minions and try to tag Vista twice in 66 minutes. If she escapes in that time, she wins. Oh, but you are also forbidden from using any other skills other than ones that affect space and the landscape, or master abilities, and you can't tag Vista yourself. You can summon illusion minions or otherwise try to distract Vista to try and help your minions reach her."

"Sound fair to you Vista?" I asked.

"Well, the room is a little small for me to work with, but I can live with that if I get 10 seconds after each tag to reset the field."

"Fine." I agreed.

Then she grinned at me. "Hey Hokage, ready to get beaten by the youngest and strongest Ward in all Brockton Bay?"

"Not a chance!" I called out. "But um, how old are you actually?"

"Thirteen, why?" She asked while tilting her head.

She was thirteen? No, it couldn't be…

"And when's your birthday?" I asked, keeping my voice from trembling.

"August, why?"

No. No. No. Vista could not be older than me! She was almost a foot shorter.

Suddenly Gallant just burst out laughing. "Take that!"

"What?" Vista asked confused.

No… NO…

"You're older than she is!" He called out.

"What?" there was shock on her face through her visor. Then she slowly grinned and shouted "Finally! I'm not the youngest cape around!"

"Are we going to fight or not?" I asked very loudly.

"Yeah." Vista said, a huge grin still visible under her visor.

"Ready? GO!" shouted Aegis.

"Summoning Jutsu!" I shouted.

Using a ludicrous amount of chakra, I summoned a small herd of deer.

Vista simply stared in shock. "You have deer!?" She called out. Wait, that wasn't the right tone of voice.

"Aw! Can I pet them?" She asked me.

"After the battle." I was on a time limit, and didn't want to cheapen my win by having her willingly give up to pet them.

'"Aww." Some of the young fauns called out. Really?! What was going on now?

"Now hold on. I know you signed the deer summon contract, but the deer elders and I need to discuss something." Heijimaru told me.

What? What could POSSIBLY need discussing during my battle with Vista?

After a stressful two minutes discussing in the corner, they came back.

"We have decided. Vista we would like you to sign the deer summoning scroll."

My mouth dropped open. What!?

"What? Why?!" I asked.

"Just look at her! The deer don't want to go on without getting to see her more often. Especially the young fauns. Just look at their expressions."

I did. They were lovestruck. I had no idea why. There was NO WAY Vista didn't have some sort of power involving first impressions. I refused to believe otherwise at this point.

"Do you accept?" They asked Vista.

She merely gaped at them, mouth hanging open, then nodded her head rapidly.

They brought the scroll out and she signed it with her blood.

"And now that there are two deer summoners fighting, we cannot interfere." Heijimaru declared.

"What? Then why couldn't you have waited till after the fight to let her sign the scroll!?" I asked him angrily.

He shrugged.

I spent the next two minutes trying to get them to just fight a little but I failed.

"Well, in an unexpected upset, it looks like Hokage only got one tag in, so it looks like Vista wins!"

"How does this possibly count!?" I cried out to the heavens.

" Vista! Vista! Vista!" There was much cheering in the stands.

"To Vista, the ultimate champion!" Glory Girl proclaimed.

"To Vista!" all the wards chipped in.

'Maybe I was a bit too hard on Glenn.' Vista thought. 'After all, it did help my gets these deer and win the battle against Hokage.'

She thought about it for another minute. 'Nah, Still mad at him.'

* * *

* **Shadow Stalkers fight:**

"So what are your powers?"

"Well, I have a bunch. Explosions, pocket dimension, minor superstrength and speed. Oh I also have this other ability to turn into a shadow gas. Its pretty weak and useless though, so I rarely use it."

"No. You do not have my ability. Stop messing with me."

I put myself into my gelel stone and turned into my shadow form, then changed back.

"See? It's useful for getting past doors, you know, if I don't want to open them, but one taser while I'm in that form and I'm done. Overall, it's relatively useless. Not really much of a power at all."

"Oh that's it!" Shadow stalker shot a bolt at me, which I dodged before she came close to try and get close enough I couldn't dodge more.

Later:

"So why did you antagonize Stalker like that? She didn't really deserve it."

"Eh, maybe. Still was fun though."

" I loved the part where you pulled out a bucket of popcorn for us out of your arm when Clockblocker asked for some."

" Yeah that was pretty funny. How about when I tricked her into shooting a paint bucket point blank when forced to be tangible?"

Vista gasped, trying to hold in a giggle. "I'll be playing that over in my head for weeks! And then when you ended it with an pie with a weak electric current in the pan?"

We both couldn't help ourselves at that point, holding our sides and laughing uncontrollably as if nothing else mattered.

After a few minutes, we finally managed to control ourselves.

"You don't really think her power is lame though, do you?"

"I call myself Fire _Shadow_. Of course I don't think it's lame. Her reaction though? I just couldn't resist."

As we thought back on the fight again, we both fell over in laughter. Getting the willpower to get up and walk out of here might take longer than I had thought.

* * *

 **Alternative Vista fight:**

" _Great! Then you summon four of your minions and try to tag Vista in 5 minutes. If she escapes in that time, she wins. Oh, but you are also forbidden from using any other skills other than ones that affect space and the landscape, or master abilities, and you can't tag Vista yourself. You can summon illusion minions or otherwise try to distract Vista to try and help your minions reach her."_

" _Sound fair to you Vista?" I asked._

" _Well, the room is a little small for me to work with, but I can live with that if I get 10 seconds after the first tag to reset the field."_

" _Fine." I agreed._

 _Then she grinned at me. "Hey Hokage, ready to get beaten by the youngest and strongest Ward in all Brockton Bay?"_

" _Not a chance!" I called out. "But um, how old are you actually?"_

 _"Thirteen, why?" She asked while tilting her head._

 _She was thirteen? No, it couldn't be…_

" _And when's your birthday?" I asked, keeping my voice from trembling._

" _August, why?"_

 _No. No. No. Vista could not be older than me! She was almost a foot shorter._

 _Suddenly Gallant just burst out laughing. "Take that!"_

" _What?" Vista asked confused._

 _No… NO…_

" _You're older than she is!" He called out._

" _What?" there was shock on her face through her visor. Then she slowly grinned and shouted "Finally! I'm not the youngest cape around!"_

" _Are we going to fight or not?" I asked very loudly._

" _Yeah." Vista said, a huge grin still visible under her visor._

 _"Ready? GO!" shouted Aegis._

" _Summoning Jutsu!" I shouted._

 _Using a huge burst of chakra, I summoned three small deer and Heijimaru._

 _Vista simply stared in shock. "You have deer!?" She called out._

"You need to tag her twice." I explained to the deer. "But make sure not to hurt her. Also she gets 10 seconds after the first tag to try and get away again. It's for a training exercise."

They nodded at me and split up as they ran forward towards Vista.

Suddenly the distance to Vista grew much larger, and all the deer except Heijimaru stumbled and fell over.

"Watch out! She can control space!" I called out, a little late.

The deer tried to get up but the floor in front of one of them was suddenly very steep, and he got pushed back by the large amount of water that was suddenly falling towards him. The other two just tripped again.

Heijimaru was making some actual progress approaching Vista, and she turned to focus on him. She tried to make the floor rise to a steep angle to stop him, but he merely shifted around to the side to try and get around it, and seemed to be succeeding.

I turned away from watching that to race forward and help the other three deer. I helped them get up, and created three hedged clones that looked like deer and sent them out to chase Vista.

I turned to look for Heijimaru, but couldn't see him anywhere. What was happening? I tried sensing him, and… he was in the hole I had made with my storage scroll when fighting Kid Win.

He seemed abnormally low, as though Vista was using her power to make the pit large enough he couldn't just jump out of it.

I had an idea.

I spent some chakra and transformed one of my clones that was near the hole into an image of Heijimaru and sent it charging at Vista.

As I'd hoped, she turned her attention to the clone and the pit grew small enough for the real Heijimaru to climb out.

They were getting closer to her. Focusing more of her attention on dealing with the giant deer, the smaller deer had also managed to get closer, though the artificially increased distance meant they still had a ways to go.

Then I saw Heijimaru veer off and start running back towards me.

I made sure my clone appeared to keep moving forward even though there was no physical way for it to do so.

Strangely, while Vista raised the floor up in a barrier to protect herself, she didn't seem to really care about the clone. Had she found a way to identify it? That would not be good.

Meanwhile Heijimaru kept running in circles, trying to find a way to get around her warped space and actually reach her.

The other deer were making more progress now, but they were too slow. At this rate, there was no way I'd be able to tag Vista twice within the time limit. I might not even be able to tag her _once_. I started thinking that The Wards had really put me at a disadvantage in this fight, and that I really should have fought Vista before destroying the room in the fight with Kid Win.

I had another idea. I spent a huge amount of chakra and created a thick mist over a path to Vista using the water on the ground.

I then sent one of the clones back to one of the smaller deer and pointed a specific direction for it to travel.

I hoped it saw where I had pointed to.

One of the other deer had fallen into the hole Kid Win had made with his cannon and the last one was too far behind at this point to worry much about.

I sensed Heijimaru wasn't getting redirected as efficiently anymore. He was either finding ways to fake Vista out, or she wasn't able to manipulate space as efficiently when her vision was obscured.

Time was running out, but I was determined to tag her at least once.

The deer that I had sent after her was getting closer. I don't think she noticed him since she was focused on Heijimaru.

But then just before he reached her she took a few giant steps forward into the little haven of boulders I had made and shifted space so that the remaining three boulders closed the space left by the missing one.

Hejimaru and I suddenly backtracked and ran towards the boulders. On the bright side most of the shifted space was normal again. On the other hand, I probably had less than a minute left and still hadn't tagged Vista.

The deer that had lagged behind was surprisingly close to the boulders now, and I ran to meet up with him.

We ran to the boulders and I used my earth walking technique to get us through the boulders into the space where Vista was.

The only problem? She wasn't there. I sensed her at the top of one of the boulders. And the space we were in now was closed, with one of the boulders warped to wrap over the top and seal us in.

Well, she was close now, and I had two of my deer including Heijimaru with me now and Vista was trapped on top of the boulder. I just had to earth walk the deer up a little more and …

"TIME!" I heard Aegis call out. "Vista wins!"

Annnnnnnnddd…. I lost. I used a storage seal and removed one of the boulders and walked out.

"Congratulations Vista." I told her. "That was a good match."

"Thanks. It was a hard one." She shook my hand.

" Vista! Vista! Vista!" There was much cheering in the stands.

"To Vista, the ultimate champion!" Glory Girl proclaimed.

"To Vista!" all The Wards chipped in.

"Now as the winner, here are your prizes. $2000, and a portal to any dimension you want, that will only work for you. Nice job out there." Miss Militia gave her her prizes.

"Wait what?! You have a way to create portals to other dimensions?!" I asked.

"Yeah, but just the one, and it's locked onto Vista now. We can't even create any more unfortunately. If you'd wanted it, you should have tried harder to win."

I… but…. Wha?

"But but but." I stammered.

"Cool!" Vista said.

* * *

I hope you like it!


	2. C2, After S&S C6 shorts

Snarks and Shenanigans chapter 2

These are non-canon segments from my Worm/DOS crossover "Shards and Shadows".

This chapter has some parts repeated from the main "Shards and Shadows" story, but has some new sections, and all future non-canon segments will be posted here instead of the main "Shards and Shadows" story.

 **THESE WERE WRITTEN AFTER CHAPTER 6 OF SHARDS AND SHADOWS:**

* * *

 **1) Vista's Thoughts/Song. Not intended to have romantic undertones:**

Sing to "how much is that doggie in the window"

How much is that Hokage at the table

The one with the scrolls at her waist

How much is that Hokage at the table

I hope she joins The Wards with haste

.

I've been on The Wards for three years

The only other girl is mean

I do hope this new one is nicer

And that she joins us on the team

.

How much is that Hokage at the table

The one with the scrolls at her waist

How much is that Hokage at the table

I hope she joins The Wards with haste

.

I heard from Aegis she took down Lung

With shadows grown large from the light

With more heros around here emerging,

the villains will soon leave in fright.

.

I don't want another Clockblocker

I don't want a Stalker whose rude

What I want is someone who is like me

And she might join us very soon

.

How much is that Hokage at the table

The one with the scrolls at her waist

How much is that Hokage at the table

I hope she joins The Wards with haste

.

(alternate verses:

Alt verse 4:

I heard from Aegis she took down Lung

And though I have just learned her name

I am sure that in a few years

The whole world will know of our fame

Aly verse 5:

I think she might be around my age

And won't make me feel like a fool

I wonder what she is thinking

And if I have met her at school

)

* * *

 **2) Non-canon snippets**

 **2A)** "Before that, I have to ask about your mask. Without that small mouth-mask your face is almost completely exposed. Is there a reason you don't care if you're seen?" Triumph interrupted before I could respond.

Well, it would reveal another of my powers, but hopefully this would allow me to cast some suspicion as to my real identity.

"I think my disguise is a pretty good one." I said as I hedged into Tenten.

Everyone stares at me in shock. Suddenly alarms blare out, and from the loudspeakers comes "ALERT, ALERT, A STRANGER HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING. EVERYONE IS NOW UNDER MANDATORY MASTER/STRANGER PROTOCOLS. I REPEAT, A STRANGER HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING. EVERYONE IS NOW UNDER MASTER/STRANGER PROTOCOLS."

Then we hear the sound of a door slamming coming from the loudspeakers. "Clockblocker," we hear Armsmasters voice ring out. " You are on monitor duty for the next month. Do you understand me?"

It's silent for a moment. Then a boy's voice rings out "Still worth it!"

* * *

 **2B) Responses Shikako could have given about what her power was:**

"I'm a master of all things 2-dimensional. This usually means working with shadows or paper. However in some cases, it can have much more potential. I mean a dragon who breathes fire and always charges at everything, there's not much depth to that is there? So… "

"I'm a jack of all trades. Good at everything, master of, well, you if you get in my shadow, but you get the idea."

* * *

 **2C) Signing up for the Wards**

"So I need my legal guardian or parent to sign these forms right?"

"Yes".

"You don't discriminate against case 53's, do you?"

"No of course not."

" Well just remember that. My dad is outside."

They all go outside, and see a giant deer standing on the sidewalk.

"Hi dad"

"That giant deer is your dad?"

"Yup. raised me since I was a baby. Hey dad, they need you to sign some forms for me."

"but you, but he can't..."

You said you didn't discriminate, were you lying?"

"well no, but,,,"

He's my father, and he's signing the form, unless you want to deal with this in court, I suggest you accept it."

And on that day, Hokage was inducted into the wards.

* * *

 **2D) Fire shadow?**

"So you're hokage right? I heard that means fire shadow. I've seen the shadow part, but where's the fire?"

"Well, The truth is I'm a changer. The truth is I'm a case 53, and the fire refers to my natural form. But you wouldn't like me if you saw that."

"That's ridiculous. I'm friends with Aegis, and have you seen him? You can trust me."

"ok… here goes" I say trying to sound hesitant. I mold my genjutsu.

20 minutes later.

"He won't stop screaming 'giant fire shadow endbringer! Giant shadow fire endbringer!' over and over. What did you do to him?"

I shrugged. "He should have known better than to try to freeze me when we first met. Don't worry, it should wear off soon when he realizes it was a prank."

* * *

 **2E) Snagging a Hokage**

"Did you hear? The protectorate caught a new Ward."

"So what? That doesn't change our goal much does it?"

James shook his head. "The boss has her eye on this one. Imagine what she'll give us if we deliver them to her!"

They took a second to picture it.

"So how are we gonna do it?" Jessie asked.

"Well, I also found out that she's not just a fire type cape, but a fire _shadow_ type cape." James explained.

His partner's eyes sharpened at that.

"So that means…" Jessie started.

"Yup. We can snatch her with our snag machine!" James confirmed.

"I've got our ultra balls ready." Jessie said, prepared for the task ahead.

"Then let's go snag us a Hokage!" James declared.


End file.
